So, I am back in Mumbai and settling down into the new life. The life they called ‘post marriage life’ 🙂 Well, honestly not much has changed quite contrary to what I have been brought up to believe. Thanks to the mister, I believe. But that is for another post.
One big question that many Indian girls still face, post marriage, is that big question mark on the career. Where? For how long? Mandatory? Necessity? Work life balance? Rather home-work balance? Phew! Too many angles come into play. Considering I have an unconventional career for a middle class Indian, the angles just diversified all the more.
I have unconventional choices to choose from too. For me it wasn’t a choice between to work or not to work. The choice was between to have a boss or to be the boss. Interesting, eh?
Yes, so there is this temptation to put that masters degree in administration to some good use and join a nice cozy place. Monthly salary, fixed timings, bragging rights to the entire family and a position that is easier to explain. Because Blogger/ Editor/ Writer/ Entrepreneur calls for the next question with no easy answer – “…but what do you exactly do?“
On the other side is the unexplainable, no steady pay cheque and definitely no fixed timings – freelancing. Write, Edit, Create. With free weirdo alert looks coming your way every time you attempt to explain your vocation. Not to mention the immense possibility to fly as high as you can imagine.
The conflict was on – between the safety net of a job and the satisfaction of chasing your passion. Yes they say, listen to your heart; it has the right answers. Not easy when you have an overthinking brain and believe that the only function of your heart is to pump blood! And that the heart as the world knows it is only a part of the brain. Arrrhh!
So while I was close to tearing down my hair, I decided to seek. Seek counsel from 3 friends. 3 remarkable women. Sheros in their own rights. Secure enough to help another woman. 4 hours later when I finished chats with all of them, I was too pumped up to sit still. The entrepreneur was back. The risk taker was ready. The ideas were floating again.
But the last 10% scepticism remained.
The part that had to stand up against the conventional norms and maybe even put up a fight was still standing on tenterhooks. On the line…here or there? The safety or the soul? And that is where your friend for life steps in. The one I married because I can talk, talk and talk to him on so many things; the one I wanted to be friends with when I am 40 and when I am 80 and beyond.
We spoke about the possibilities and the risks. The safety and the soul. And the one question that put everything in perspective, in clear focus came from him. Not convincing, no soothing words…a simple question:
What do you hope to achieve by working for a few more years?
Yes, that was the real question. The answer helped me look at what did I really want to do. And I had the answer. Without any confusion, any fear. It was right there, staring me in the face. It just took one simple question. And can I feel enough gratitude for having the right friends at the right junctures.
As I step into living my passion, to all my friends who have backed me every time I was down and helped me not quit, you are my lifeline. I dare say – I have many lifelines in this one life. I dare to fly because you stand applauding at times, often giving directions and even flying along sometimes even when it is not your path to be on. Thank you.
p.s. Also Dear Husbands,
If you were taught to dominate your girl, stamp on her self esteem and feel privileged because of an appendage, the elders had figured it out all wrong. You will only earn her disgust and hate. Be your girl’s friend. She wants to win the world and she can; just stand by her. Not in her path but by her. Most often she wants to do it with you by her side. She is not your competitor, she is the friend you will have at 80 🙂